Executive Function Reset: Finding Your Way Back Without Starting Over

January notoriously feels very long and inexhaustive, the end of the month cannot come along fast enough for most of us. There are several reasons for this, chief among them being the entire cycle of planning, setting goals, taking action to achieve them and two weeks later everything is in chaos. The habits we wish to form have refused to take shape, the healthy routines have been dropped, plans have interfered with plans and we find ourselves returning back to the old patterns that are destructive to us as a coping mechanism for the ensuing helplessness the chaos causes. We open our planners, panic at all the blank days, and our first thought is: ‘Maybe, I should just start over.’ “But the month has ten days to its end”, our instinct tells us, “I can just start again in February.” Wipe the slate clean. Do it ‘right’ this time.

But the sheer idea of that alone can be so heavy it keeps us stuck.

What I’ve learned, both personally and through work in coaching executive function, is that most of us don’t need a fresh start. We need a gentler, more practical way back in without wiping the slate clean. We need to start where we are.

When Your Brain Goes Offline

Sometimes executive function feels more easily accessible, the planning is flowing, the workflow is impeccably matched to the skillset, following through is inevitable and making decisions come at the snap of a finger. Work is not exhaustive and there is an amazing feeling as the tasks are being demolished one after another. On the other hand, there are times when the tasks are similar to the plight of Sisyphus; it is an uphill battle to attend and stay focused in crucial meetings, motivation is absent and unreliable, starting up the computer to work is more strenuous and time disappears.

When the latter occurs, it is easier to see self-blaming as a way of taking responsibility for the mental drain, the negative voice tells you, you are culpable and should do better. The shame that comes with loss of momentum is drowning.

But you cannot draw from an empty well; your brain is tired, overloading or responding to the stress of enacting actions it is not familiar with. More often than not, nothing is wrong with you. You need to be supported, not judged.

Name that negative voice in your head and tell it to take a hike.

Why Starting Over Feels Impossible (And How an Executive Function Reset Helps)

Starting from the beginning sounds great on paper, until you try to implement it and look a little more closely at it. In reality, starting at the beginning comes with:

The denial of your failure and what made you fail in the first place
The pressure to be more disciplined than you actually are at this point.
The denial of who you are and the delay of who you could become.

Our brains already work hard enough to plan, get started and go all that distance; applying that kind of pressure on it shuts things down even more.

Instead of restarting, why not take a reset. A reset is different. A reset lets us ease ourselves back in without punishing ourselves for stepping away in the first place. A reset acknowledges the reality we are in.

What Resetting Can Look Like

A reset is an immediate, gentle reintroduction to the action of your intent. Resetting is as simple as opening the thing you’ve been avoiding, without the expectation that you’ll finish it.

A reset can be revising all you have studied thus far with no plan to learn anything new yet.

Sometimes it’s letting today be today, instead of trying to make up for yesterday.

Sometimes it’s saying, I can start from right here.

You don’t have to erase anything to move forward. You don’t have to earn your way back in. Here is a tiny 3 step ritual to aid your reset:

Set a 5–10 minute timer.
Choose one tiny, specific action; “Open the file,” “Write one sentence,” “Clear one surface.”
Stop when the timer rings and celebrate showing up.

Meeting Yourself Where You Are

A strategy that enables very effective executive function skills is noticing what you actually have to work with, your energy, your attention, your capacity, and planning from there.

On some days, five minutes is all you have. On others, showing up is the win. That doesn’t mean you’re regressing. It means you’re listening.

Plans that respect your capacity tend to last longer than plans built on pressure.

Letting Go of “Doing It Right”

If you already have a tool, a planner, a calendar, a system, especially one that tracks streaks, you don’t need to throw them away because you stopped using them perfectly.

You’re allowed to:

Skip days and irrelevant pages of a book
Start in the middle of the task and work your way to both ends
Change how you use them: track number of days active instead of streaks
Execute actions imperfectly

Support tools are meant to meet you where you are, not shame you when you drift.

Changing the Space, Not Yourself

A lot of times, the quickest way shift back into focus isn’t a new plan, but a small environmental change; clearing one surface, moving to a different room, putting your phone down for a few minutes and the list goes on.

Small changes can help your nervous system settle enough for your brain to re-engage. Disengage from your current environment for a little, try working in different environment and see what works best for you.

Ending Gently

Having a goal in your sights before even beginning to engage the work is an important ingredient for a reset. It works so well in giving you what to hit, training all your energy on that target.

“I’ll work for ten minutes.” “I’ll do one piece.” “I’ll pause when the timer goes off.”

Stopping intentionally builds your trust in yourself. It reminds your brain that starting doesn’t mean being trapped. And this makes it easier to start when next you need to enter into it again.

You’re Not Behind

If you’ve stepped away, paused, or lost momentum, it doesn’t mean you failed. It means you needed space. You took a break from the work and you’ve decided it is time to get back into it.

An executive function reset isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about finding your way back to yourself, with a little more understanding and a lot more kindness.

You don’t need to start over.

You can begin again, exactly where you are.